


This Is How Everything Ends

by MissReylo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: !ANGST!, Angst, F/M, Only like fluffy memories, Reader has a child, Sadness, no happy ending, the rest is pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReylo/pseuds/MissReylo
Summary: When your time has come you decide to remember.





	This Is How Everything Ends

This is how everything ends, you think.

A hot tear escapes your eye and trails down your cheek. You remember what the Doctor once told you: When you leave, remember the best. So you decide to do that. The clock is ticking in the background, your time’s almost up, your whole body hurts and blood’s everywhere, but you decide what you do with your last minutes. And you decide to remember.

_A flower. It’s a beautiful purple flower. You pick it up from the ground. It smells heavenly. Who left it here? Why would someone leave such a pretty flower there. Your mind starts spinning with new ideas and you imagine a man, on his way to his lover, with a bouquet filled with these flowers. He’s upset his lover and this is his apology. One of the flowers fell. Now he opens the door of his lover’s apartment but when he comes in he finds his lover with another man. You smile. Maybe, maybe you’re writers block is disappearing. Which would be wonderful. You’ve been stuck for months._

_‘Oh, hello! Have you seen a yellow man running around, maybe? Tentacles, three eyes?’ You look up, in the eyes of the most gorgeous man you have ever seen. His eyes, bright and wise and old and just everything. And then the way he carries himself, it’s like he isn’t sure if his feet will touch the ground with every step. Uncertainty. But he’s old. How can a young man be so old? He looks young, but your instinct says that this man has lived for so long and has seen so many things._

_‘Hello?’_

_You gasp._

_‘Oh, I… no… It isn’t Halloween yet, sir.’ ‘_

_I’m the Doctor,’ he says, ‘and I love Halloween. Halloween is cool. But I’m looking for an alien.’_

_‘Aliens don’t exist,’ you say, crossing your arms._

_‘Who told you that?’ he asks, winking. And then he takes your hand and drags you along and it’s wonderful. For some reason his hand, it feels like home, it feels like you had held his hand before. He smiles at you and you grin back, dropping the purple flower._

You smile at the memory. It was a wonderful day and even more days like that followed. You followed the weird Doctor into his blue box and saw alien worlds. You scribbled into your notebooks, writer block’s gone, and you had the time of your life. Everything was so beautiful.

_‘I thought you were going to sleep,’ the Doctor said from behind you._

_You were sitting in the door opening of the TARDIS. You’re looking at the stars, your notebook stuffed with loose papers and little notes on your lap, your hair a mess. You sighed._

_‘I wanted to see the stars.’ ‘_

_Rest’s pretty good too, y’know?’ he says, sitting down next to you. He puts an arm around you and you curl up next to him, looking at the bright shining diamonds in the sky._

_‘Promise you will go to bed soon,’ he whispers in your ear and you shiver._

_‘Yeah,’ you respond. The two of you are silent for a long time and it’s so nice, to just sit there, next to each other, in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. Unlike with others you don’t feel the need to fill the silence with words. Words sound better on paper than in real life anyway._

_‘You’re brilliant, Y/N,’ he says._

_‘Oh, shut up. What is it that you want?’ you ask, teasingly._

_You look up at him and he just smiles at you. You’re suddenly very aware of how close the two of you are and then his lips are on yours. It’s amazing and you don’t know how to describe it later in your diary, but it feels wonderful, it’s like coming home. Your lips move on their own, it’s all instinct. His hands cup your cheeks and you clutch to his jacket. Your lips still on his, you pull him up and together you stumble upstairs, to your bedroom. Your notebook is still there, on the floor. The TARDIS hums contently, happy that this finally happened. She closes the doors and dims the light._

_Tonight is a good night._

You giggle and blush a bit, remembering _that_ evening. The pain is starting to disappear and normally you would think of that to be a good sign. But you know it’s just the blood loss. Everything is getting brighter, a lot brighter. You’re dying. Groaning you try to remember another happy memory.

Off course. Sarah-Jane.

_You’re exhausted._

_And you have every right to be. Apparently giving birth to a half Time Lord is very hard. You’ve been in labour for two whole days and now finally she’s here. Your beautiful baby daughter. She had little dark locks and she’s pretty. For the first time in your life you can’t find the words._

_'She’s…’ you gasp and then burst into tears._

_The Doctor’s there immediately, holding you to him, rubbing your back, kissing your temple and whispering sweet words to you. It seem he’s forgotten your threats to throttle him if he ever touches you again._

_‘I’m… she’s…so… I love her,’ you sob. This isn’t really like you, but after two days of horrible pain and no sleep for a long time, you’re so emotional. And those eyes. They’re the Doctor’s eyes. You can’t… you just can’t. You have a daughter. You’re a mother._

_‘Name,’ you’re able to bring out, ‘she needs a name.’_

_He smiles at you, a beautiful smile, and you curl closer to him. ‘You choose,’ you tell him, ‘you’ve met so many people, choose one of their names.’ ‘_

_Sarah-Jane,’ he whispers, ‘what do you think of that?’_

_You look at your daughter. ‘I think its… fantastic.’_

You closed your eyes. You felt so light. Light as a feather. Your hands, you couldn’t feel them any more. Just like your feet. You were losing control but it was less scarier then you thought. You were okay. It was okay, you told yourself, I’m at peace. And you were. You always knew that one day you were going to die. You didn’t know which day, nobody knew. But you had lived your life, happily. You had the Doctor and Sarah-Jane. You were so lucky. This life had been nothing but wonderful. And now, it was going to end. But everything ends. You knew that as a writer.

At some point someone had to write ‘The End’.

You just hoped your Sarah-Jane would grow up to be kind and brave and sweet. You hoped she was going to be so happy. You hoped her father would keep her safe. You hoped he would love her twice for you.

‘Y/N!’ Someone was yelling. You couldn’t feel your legs any more and you couldn’t open your eyes. You smiled softly. Someone held you in his arms. The Doctor. He had finally arrived.

‘Oh, my Y/N, this isn’t… how… you’ve got to hold on,’ he sobbed into your ear. It hurt, it hurt so badly to hear his broken voice. You wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him that you were going to be okay. But you couldn’t move any more.

‘Please… don’t leave me alone…’ he begged, crying. You saw Sarah-Jane. Her little face. She reached out to you, gurgling. You took her little hand and kissed it.

‘Mommy,’ she babbled. ‘Oh, my darling,’ you sighed, tears streaming down your cheeks. You collapsed, where were you? The Doctor had disappeared, Sarah-Jane also and you were alone. Everywhere brightness, you were floating, floating, screaming, gasping for air.

_You picked up a purple flower. Goodbye._

This is The End. This is how everything ends.


End file.
